rhythms

It certainly feels like I have found a rhythm to my week. There are exceptions of course, but I basically know what each day of the week MAY look like, at least for now. For a while there, I was living in denial that Sunday was still a day of rest. So when Sunday showed up and I was expecting to sneak a nap in, I was repeatedly disappointed, and found I was missing a day of rest. We all need a day to rest, whether resting means relaxing or being active. I wasn't getting that, so I felt out of sync, w/ myself, my family, and my work.

It has been amazing how much better my weekly rhythm feels now that I look at Sunday as "my Monday." The first part of my week is now quite busy, w/ church, Firehouse work, small groups, meetings, and running around. The second part of my week is laid back, w/ volunteering, writing, reading, and lots of time hanging w/ K8 and Montana, and friends. It is nice to have rhythms of working hard and resting.

The idea of Sabbath is pretty profound, if you think about it. God leads by example and rested (Gen 2:1-3); Christ often sought solitude in the middle of His busyness (Mt 14:13, 23). It is good for us when we are able to stop from or normal work, and do something different. It's nice when we have the time to stop and listen, give thanks, and worship. This picture is a good one, but a bit dualistic, compartmentalized. It's nice to look forward to the second half of my week, but what about first half of the week.

Is it possible to find rest and worship WHILE we work or are busy? Brother Lawrence, a 17th century monk known for his teachings in "The Practice of the Presence of God", encourages us to find the peace of Christ in common things. One of the things he's known for is making the average experience of washing dishes an experience of worship. Brother Lawrence was obviously able to find rest and worship outside of Sunday morning.

It's a blessing to have rhythms in my week, and important for me to guard these rhythms. But more importantly, it's a blessing to find moments of rest and peace in Christ no matter I'm doing. My prayer is that God would reveal to you and me moments of worship today, whatever rhythm we're in, however mundane.

may prayer letter

I've posted my latest prayer letter in the prayer page to the left. Enjoy!

my monday

I'm finding that things that used to feel unique, or I didn't know how to address, have become normal.

For instance on Monday, I went in early to the coffee shop the read before I clocked in. As I walked in, a crowd of regulars greeted me w/ smiles and waves. After getting a drink I sat down at a table and read from my Bible.
As a regular found his seat (at the table next to me), he leaned over and asked, "What are you reading there, some sort of dictionary?"
"No," I said, w/ a smile, "it's my Bible."
"Oh," he said, looking a bit surprised, "is it for personal study, or something else?"
"Yeah, I'm reading in preparation for studying w/ some friends tonight."
"So you're a Christian?!?"
"Yeah, I am."
"Oh, well that's interesting," he said, more to himself that to me, and turned around.

During my shift, making coffee, I was greeted with many different folks, most of whom I know by name. One regular came in, obviously very excited. She told me that she and her partner had just filed for their domestic partnership w/ the state. These 2 ladies have been together for 20+ years, and they were in the coffee shop to celebrate. Next, another woman came up and asked what she should do, as a Christian, in giving her cousin advise on an ethical issue. Then after a regular denied being pickup for a future date from her old boyfriend, I chatted w/ her about love and relationships and aging. All in a day's work at the Firehouse.

Walking home, I prayed for our Bible study and for the Lord to lead our time and give us wisdom. Coming inside our home, K8, Montana, and a friend were looking at photos. It's cool to come home, knowing someone dropped in to hang out. I could smell the good soup, that another friend made, warming on the stove. Soon our home was filled w/ friends eating and drinking, laughter, and kids screaming. As 7:15p approached, we setup a computer in the bedroom for the kids to watch a video. The adults slowly gathered in our living room. We opened up our time praying for the concerns of each other. Then we took turns reading Acts 18 (the night's chapter for discussion), and then shared observations or questions we had from the text. And as usual a rabbit trail of awesome discussion is followed. On Monday, two rabbit trails lasted. The first was how to handle the undeserved grace that we receive, even when we know we deserve so much less. The second was encouraging each other to embrace the mystery of God, even as we desire to know more and have "things figured out." It was an intense evening of grace and raw humanity colliding. We then gathered again in prayer, holding hands. This was followed be more food and drink, until folks left. God answered the prayer of leading and wisdom.

These different things that happened Monday used to be unique, but are now par for the course. The course being one of the best I've ever played. I am thankful for my friends/family, that God has blessed our family w/, from the coffee shop to our weekly groups. May He be brought glory through all our lives.

3.10 prayer letter

I've posted my latest prayer letter in the prayer page to the left. Enjoy!

resting in uncertainty

SkyMall, seen on many airplanes, is awesome. In what other catalog can you purchase a Snuggie, the world’s largest crossword puzzle, and a door bell for pets? "Honey, I know it's early but my Christmas list is finished!" It is awesome. But right now, it's not doing it for me.

As I write these words on my Blackberry, I am sitting on the runway of Grand Rapids airport preparing to return home to Bellingham. We've been delayed an hour and a half, and I am uncertain if I'll make it home today. Being patient in the face of uncertainty is familiar territory in this season of life and ministry.

With my wife, Kate, I am planting a church, and currently forming a launch team. Lately, I have been telling people that we are in the season of "DTR's". "DTR", or Define The Relationship, is a term I used in high school/college to describe a conversation to determine if a girl who was a friend would be interested in being a girlfriend. Through the Bible studies, parties, and service projects we host, we've made many good friendships. This however doesn't necessarily translate into folks joining us in the church plant. That's where the DTR comes in. I had one DTR just before flying out to MI, and in the next couple weeks I hope to have a several more. After these are all through, my hope is to gather all those who are "in" and have a party, then later begin the journey of daydreaming together.

Those are my HOPES, but I can't call them PLANS, because I am uncertain if anyone will say "yes" to my DTR's. Despite my mellow, laid back disposition, I genuinely dislike waiting, and right now I'm ready to take the next step of ministry and move forward with my launch team. I know, however, that for the moment (and for the long-term health of our church) I need to sit in uncertainty and wait to see who God is calling to join us.

I'm still here on the runway, and I'm wondering if I'll make it home today. As I sit here, I'm also wondering what the people around me are reading. "That one looks interesting. I wonder if I can read it without him noticing. Has it come to this? I'm a second hand reader." Waiting is no fun.

Patience in midst of uncertainty is not unique to travelling or church planting. I'm sure as you read these words you can easily think of an element in your life where the future is unknown. I wonder if you're asking, "How will I make it without [insert name]", "How am I going to make ends meet", or "How are we going to move forward and make a decision." If you're like me, you want to know what will happen. You want to know the outcome and the timetable, and the longer you have to wait, the more confined you feel.

It's like the guy sitting in front of me on the airplane. He has just fully reclined his chair without warning. Why do they do that? Now I can't reach my Sudoku.
Resting in the midst of the unknown stinks. I rebuke myself for being impatient, knowing I wasn't created to be anxious, knowing I was rather designed to rest in security of my savior.

There are many great texts in scripture that speak to this security, but the one that comes to mind, as I'm trying in vain to open this tiny bag of airline pretzels, is Psalm 46. In this Psalm we are confronted with the sheer power and presence of God in the midst of apparent uncertainty. While natural disasters and political chaos seem to rule the day, we are corrected and told that God is in fact the one in control. He powerfully rules over creation, brings wars to an end and shatters the tools that inhibit peace and justice. In the midst of this grand display of awesome authority, in the face of our fear and anxiety, in the mighty thunder of His presence, the Lord gently grabs us in verse 10, sits us down, and says, "Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." In light of all the uncertainty and chaos, God tells us to relax, take a breath, and know that He's sovereign, and His purposes will be fulfilled; He will be glorified and He will be with us.Here on the runway, I know we won't be taking off anytime soon. So, I decide to kill some time and check out the airplane washroom. What an amazing place! When I'm in there in feel a little freedom, knowing I'm not always going to have share an armrest with the woman in the wool sweater next to me. It feels good to know that I'm not stuck.

Knowing that God is in control and will accomplish His purposes, even though it seems uncertain to me, gives me comfort. I am confident that He has called us to start a new faith community, and will provide the means to make it happen. When I think about it, there are too many things for a church planter to consider, structures, fund-raising, tax statuses, strategic planning, not to mention serving your people or DTR's. But in the midst of the apparent chaos and uncertainty, the Lord gently grabs us, sits us down, and says, "Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

I'm curious about you, as you think about waiting in the midst of your own uncertainties. Waiting stinks. But, I'm curious if you feel you can rest in confidence in that place, knowing our God is sovereign and will fulfill His purposes in your life.

Finally we're taxiing again. The flight attendant has told us we can’t take off until we all turn off our "approved electronic devises", although I'm not convinced. I'm still not sure if I'll make my connecting flight in Chicago, and be home tonight, but I know we serve a God who will be exalted among the nations, and will be exalted in the earth. So, I can relax, take a breath, get out the SkyMall catalog and figure out if my wife would prefer a three-foot tall ceramic bigfoot statue or a digital tea kettle for her birthday.

my friend chris

Last night, K8 and I went to the opening of our friend Chris' art show. Over the last couple months we've been praying w/ him as he has been prepping for this show. I am proud of my friend and his family. To see them work hard and struggle toward this goal gave me a glimpse into their life, w/ it's rewards and struggles.

After the opening last night, a group of us went to a pub to celebrate. Chris and I got into a cool conversation. It ebbed and flowed to different places, but one of the things that stuck out for me was the question, "Can one experience God in beauty?" I think the answer is a definite YES!

God reveals Himself in the beauty of creation, in art, in friendships, as well as in books of theology and sermons. In all of these revelations salvation is not bestowed, that is the work of the Holy Spirit. However in these revelations I believe God often reveal Himself, and causes us to wrestle, praise, and journey w/ Him.

Seeing Chris work has reminded me that God lives and moves in both sides of our brains. It has been an inspiring thing to be friends w/ this man and his family. It seems to me that for Chris his art is a very real avenue of worship for him. This comes out in the bio he had posted on the wall last night and on his website (http://chrisshreve.com/home.html), which you should check out:

"DRAW A BED AND CLIMB IN IT: AS A CHILD I loved to draw. I would come often to my mother with the same question: “What can I draw?” Her response was always the same, “Draw a bed and climb in it.” When I think of these words now I am struck with the profundity and power they can hold if cared for properly. I believe that we literally have the ability to pull from the invisible and shape the visible. Imagination and creativity have power to “bring into being”. To incarnate. Painting has allowed me to conceive of a thing and watch it grow flesh. The sketchbook and the easel have become for me an altar for prayer and meditation, for confession and struggle and a place for ugliness to be confronted by grace and beauty. It has become a place to make my bed and lay in it."

thinking

I feel like this season of ministry is one of defining and redefining vision, and clarifying vocabulary. I had a great conversation today w/ Matt and Sean, 2 pastors at Mosaic, about our partnership and future/continued involvement in the Mosaic faith community. It was great food for thought regarding defining who we are, what we're doing, the strategy to move forward, and the vocabulary we use in communicating it. I'll share more about that in the future, but right now I'll say it is exciting and overwhelming and a lot to think about all in once.

After the meeting, I asked K8 to drink from the fire hose, as I debriefed all that we had talked about in my non-linear and chaotic presentation. She's awesome. She understood it and gave good insights. She's awesome. Then I got in the car to run errands and drove by a church board which read "What God Ordains, He Sustains." Normally I nearly vomit at the cheesy stuff that people put up on those boards, but this was encouraging.

Later, as I sat to get into the Word, I found this gem from 1 Peter 1:3-8: "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. 5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."

God has given all of us what we need to move forward w/ what He's called us to, whatever it is. When we keep our eyes on Him and not all the stuff we need to do in order to get from A to B. When we focus on Him and on these things (goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and love) we are productive in what He has for us. This was a good word for me as we consider the tasks before us, and our faithfulness to Him.